Some parents of gifted children are so impressed by their children's abilities that they sometimes treat the kids as though they were little adults. That sometimes means that they give the children more responsibility and independence than they might be ready to handle. This is especially true with verbally gifted children, whose advanced vocabularies and reasoning ability can make them sound like little adults.


For instance, rather than give their preschool age children controlled choices, like whether they want to eat five green beans during dinner or 7 green beans later for a snack, the parents may give completely open-ended choices like whether or not to eat green beans at all. Worse, they may simply ask that young child what she'd like for dinner, giving the child almost full control over the meal.

Parents need to remember that no matter how smart their children are, they are still children, and children do not have the life experience behind them to give them the wisdom they need to make decisions affecting their lives. They cannot yet understand, for example, that green vegetables are important for good health. They only understand what foods taste good and which don't.

Parents of gifted children sometimes find it difficult to maintain control, however, because their children are excellent debaters, arguing about every rule like little lawyers. When these kids articulately point out loopholes in rules or logically and coherently provide reasons why they should be able to break a rule or do what they want to do, parents may give in.

Parents need to remember, though, that while their young children can be quite persuasive, they are still children. They may be smart, but that is not the same as being wise.

Here are some articles that can help parents learn to give their children choices and avoid those seemingly endless debates.

• Giving Choices
• Gifted Children Who Think They Are Little Adults
• How (Not) to Argue with Gifted Children