There are many things that parents try to convince their child to say or do by talking to you them.
The reality is this...
if (fill in the blank) was so important and so critical, you, as the parent, would not be talking about it...
you would be too busy doing it.
That is why it is so important when your child gets very frustrated, begins to tantrum, act out, or begin to lose his or her cool that you remain calm.
At the very minimum it is essential that you, as the parent remain calm, cool, and collected.
Even though it is difficult to do at times, it is greatest coping strategy (gift) to give to your child.
How is it a gift? It is a gift because in the moment of frustration your child is in a frustrating moment and the child does not know how to solve his or her problem.
What your child needs most is a strategy to help them solve his or her problem.
The catch is that you can never solve it for them.
You can only model how to be calm, they will copy that strategy, and the child will learn how to calm down.
So the next time your child is "flipping out and going crazy" and you start losing your cool, realize that you are now in the same situation that your child is in.
Even though your child may be experiencing something you know how to handle, you too are stuck in a frustrating moment with a problem that you don't know how to solve (specifically, how to calm them down).
So, if you want you child to be calm in their frustrating moment, you must remain calm as you are in your frustrating moment.
Even though your "moment" is about the child, the faster you calm down, the faster you will be able verbally/behaviorally script for your child.
Ending result will be that your child will be calm much faster.