Whether you are a mother or a father, many of us have embraced the opportunities which exist between managing a family and having a full time career.
Some of us do this so we can support our family, some for the satisfaction related to employment, and for others it is to secure early retirement or strong financial stability.
Whatever your reasons for working may be, it is important to understand how your daily work routine not only impacts you but also your family.
As a father I understand when I get home my son is often excited to see me.
He wants to tell be about his day, plans he may have, and may even want to play for a while.
While on some days this is fine, but on others I simply want to relax.
When handling this situation I had only unknowingly created parenting issues by embracing two methods of parenting, one method where my son loses and I win, and another method where my son wins and I lose.
Many parents like myself have a tendency to play the role of the parent based on daily situations rather than being conscious about the parenting system I'm using and the long-term consequences of that system.
On some days after work I am simply exhausted due to heavy traffic, a long work day, or a lack of proper rest and nutrition.
When I walk in the door I am looking forward to relaxing for a while when I am suddenly bombarded by attention from my son.
While I often encourage interaction, on these days I simply want to be left alone to relax and this develops parenting issues.
My son who wants to interact is now being shut down by myself who is seeking relaxation.
I make excuses to avoid interaction, encourage him to seek alternative entertainment and eventually turn towards punishments.
While I may be able to relax now, my son is genuinely upset creating a scenario where he loses and I win.
The other method I have employed which has created parenting issues can be seen with the scenario where my son wins and I lose.
In this situation I am still tired from a long day of work but recognize how excited my son may be to interact with me.
Here I make the decision to skip the opportunity for relaxation I was so looking forward to and instead take the time to interact with my son playing games, listening to stories or working on homework.
Even though I was happy with either one of the methods, I never realized that one of us was always on the receiving end.
I never thought about the fact that these methods will teach my son that one person is more important than the other one.
Recognizing the parenting issues I may be creating, I made the decision to take advantage of a valuable resource offering parenting advice.
From this resource I discovered a third method which will lead to a situation where we BOTH win all the time.
To be honest, this had never crossed my mind!! A solution which may seem simple now was something I never had considered before.