CAPIOS: Children Are People In Need Of Support
Tracey E. Russell
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month but unfortunately there isn't a safe month or day for our precious gems. Last month, a mother in New York (L. Armstrong) drove herself and her three children off the Hudson River via her minivan in an attempt to end her life and that of her children as well. {The remarkable part of that story is that fortunately one of her children survived. Reports expressed that he stated she changed her mind at the last moment but it was too late.} Surprisingly, one article on this story discussed filicide or killing one's child among mothers. It also entailed the logic of many mothers indicating she (the perpetrator) is protecting her children by taking them along. [Purportedly, there was an argument between her and the father just before driving in that river on that dreadful Tuesday.] But these travesties aren't relegated to solely blacks or whites, or even male or females. This month alone, a man from Lexington, SC was sentenced to life in prison for shaking his 5-month old son to death. His alleged reason, hmmm? Mr. L. Dial indicated his son wouldn't walk so he shook him [to death]. The story which is also featured on the WLTX-TV website stated back in January, 2010, he shook the child so violently that the baby almost immediately lost consciousness and suffered severe trauma. These two stories along indicate the immense dire problems that exist.
It's time to do something other than to just rally and print website stories but effectively and succinctly enforce parenting classes for persons with emotional, mental, and sometimes psychological issues. Other than these classes, we have to emphasize therapy for individuals with stress that can cause a personal implosion or even temporarily remove children in danger of volatile issues. To force a permanent separation of a parent from a child would be wrong. To state he/she wouldn't do any harm, is even more wrong. No one is perfect, but we have to begin teaching coping skills (for adults) as well age appropriate scales (for children). Therapy has been perceived as a negative stigma and quickly associated with being "crazy" within most cultures for many years. But no one is seemingly impermeable from causing the devastation we are hearing on a daily, repetitive basis. Parenting classes don't mean one isn't capable of loving the child. But it's a possible means of helping adults understand the versatility that exists within the adult-child dynamic.
The unspoken reality is that even those who typically don't normally verbally express their thoughts publicly are eager to express concern as there is a tremendous fear for the innocent children (precious gems). Yet, it's a scary surreal reality that in 2011 our children are dying faster and faster at the hands of adults, even their own parents!! So, what can we do as outsiders? If we know someone who is having a lot of stress and may or may not be voicing a lot of negativity; or someone who recently broke up with a mate and sounds as if he/she may harm themselves; or is unfortunately confused about the timing of his/her child in terms of milestones? Do something, for to do nothing and know; you have to endure your own personal blame (responsibility) for your lack of actions…
Child abuse at its core is so much deeper than those forbidden scars that are visible only underneath that long-sleeved shirt worn during the summer. Likewise, for a child who once was talkative but has recently become extremely withdrawn; for no outwardly appearing reason, lest we turn our heads. The emotional and mental agony that goes along with the ramifications of a child being victimized is the responsibility of the entire family and community. These issues are grave regardless if it ends in his/her death or not.
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month but unfortunately there isn't a safe month or day for our precious gems. Last month, a mother in New York (L. Armstrong) drove herself and her three children off the Hudson River via her minivan in an attempt to end her life and that of her children as well. {The remarkable part of that story is that fortunately one of her children survived. Reports expressed that he stated she changed her mind at the last moment but it was too late.} Surprisingly, one article on this story discussed filicide or killing one's child among mothers. It also entailed the logic of many mothers indicating she (the perpetrator) is protecting her children by taking them along. [Purportedly, there was an argument between her and the father just before driving in that river on that dreadful Tuesday.] But these travesties aren't relegated to solely blacks or whites, or even male or females. This month alone, a man from Lexington, SC was sentenced to life in prison for shaking his 5-month old son to death. His alleged reason, hmmm? Mr. L. Dial indicated his son wouldn't walk so he shook him [to death]. The story which is also featured on the WLTX-TV website stated back in January, 2010, he shook the child so violently that the baby almost immediately lost consciousness and suffered severe trauma. These two stories along indicate the immense dire problems that exist.
It's time to do something other than to just rally and print website stories but effectively and succinctly enforce parenting classes for persons with emotional, mental, and sometimes psychological issues. Other than these classes, we have to emphasize therapy for individuals with stress that can cause a personal implosion or even temporarily remove children in danger of volatile issues. To force a permanent separation of a parent from a child would be wrong. To state he/she wouldn't do any harm, is even more wrong. No one is perfect, but we have to begin teaching coping skills (for adults) as well age appropriate scales (for children). Therapy has been perceived as a negative stigma and quickly associated with being "crazy" within most cultures for many years. But no one is seemingly impermeable from causing the devastation we are hearing on a daily, repetitive basis. Parenting classes don't mean one isn't capable of loving the child. But it's a possible means of helping adults understand the versatility that exists within the adult-child dynamic.
The unspoken reality is that even those who typically don't normally verbally express their thoughts publicly are eager to express concern as there is a tremendous fear for the innocent children (precious gems). Yet, it's a scary surreal reality that in 2011 our children are dying faster and faster at the hands of adults, even their own parents!! So, what can we do as outsiders? If we know someone who is having a lot of stress and may or may not be voicing a lot of negativity; or someone who recently broke up with a mate and sounds as if he/she may harm themselves; or is unfortunately confused about the timing of his/her child in terms of milestones? Do something, for to do nothing and know; you have to endure your own personal blame (responsibility) for your lack of actions…
- Report the problem to a mutual friend/neighbor
- Speak with their family if possible
- Report your concerns to your pastor/parishioner
- Call your local DHS or DSS (not with allegations but your concerns)
- Speak with the school if your child/ren assimilate with his/her kids
- Definitely tell if your have proof; you will only regret it if you don't; an unreported story could potentially end up being a front page report of the next day
- Family members should step up---if you see signs of concern, visit more; offer help; listen for triggers of a breakdown; and observe the communication between the parties
Child abuse at its core is so much deeper than those forbidden scars that are visible only underneath that long-sleeved shirt worn during the summer. Likewise, for a child who once was talkative but has recently become extremely withdrawn; for no outwardly appearing reason, lest we turn our heads. The emotional and mental agony that goes along with the ramifications of a child being victimized is the responsibility of the entire family and community. These issues are grave regardless if it ends in his/her death or not.
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