It is said that generation after generation the sins of the fathers are passed down.
This is true for every generation, every race and every gender unless you make a choice to stop it.
For years I felt frustration rise from somewhere very deep.
I would go outside my house, when I knew everyone inside was pre-occupied, and let out a scream that would echo through the valley.
Why? It was my way of releasing the pent up anger.
Where did it come from? What was the root cause? I had no idea, I only knew how great it would feel to scream with no one else around, and I remember doing it from the time I was quite young.
My parents were angry, their parents were angry and their parents before them were angry.
It's what I learned, how I was taught to engage in life, to deal with stress, to fuss when people weren't listening to what I had to say.
I thought about anger management classes now and then, but I would compare myself to my husband and I eventually say, "Well I'm not nearly as bad tempered as he is.
" and choose not to get help for myself.
The interesting thing about anger management is that you are taught to 'manage' the anger going on inside, when in reality, the anger is still managing you for as long as you hold on to it.
You can't run from it, or hide from it, or let someone else borrow it for a while.
The way I see it is that you can only face it, pass it on to your children, or release it forever.
I had no idea how to release it back then, I only knew I wanted to.
One day when I went out side for yet another scream session and I heard birds singing, cars passing by, dogs barking and life seemed to be normal.
In that moment I realized my anger didn't affect anything outside that wasn't human and that thought made me think deeper.
If I did this in my house my family would be greatly affected.
The entire atmosphere would change, everyone would walk on egg shells wondering if I was going to implode, and they would even mirror back with some of their own anger.
Then I asked myself, "Where is this anger directed? Who am I angry at?" I took a moment to think, and to respond.
It was upward, directed toward God for allowing my pain.
It was toward myself for not being strong enough to handle it.
It was toward my husband who had an intolerable temperament, it was toward my father-in-law who also had a horrible temper.
It was toward my Dad who lived in a state of anger his entire life.
It was toward my mom who decided to remain in her angry bitter state toward my Dad.
Something bigger had begun to formulate in my mind.
It was an image of my young son's who, while playing so sweetly, got angry when something didn't go right for them...
and then it suddenly hit me.
This is a generational issue! "What a terrible way to live!" I shouted.
From that moment I knew something in me had to change.
I couldn't change or influence anyone else, but I could muster the courage to eliminate the problem for myself.
It took several months to figure out what I didn't want those many years ago and it took just as long to figure out what I did want and how to change my behavior.
What did I want? Freedom from generational issues.
Generational issues, or sins, affect every American and non-American alive.
We all have parents, and grandparents, who had something to deal with at one time or another.
Drinking, living in fear, screaming, cursing, being hypocritical, holding on to bitterness or rebellion, pornographic issues, worrying, anxiety, you name it your parents likely dealt with it, and their parents before them likely did to - and now you do.
If you realize you are teaching your children generational issues it's time to stop before they have their own children.
You can choose to eliminate anger so your life can be much richer, and relationships can be much more fulfilling.
There is a way.