Spirituality is welcoming the uncomfortable.
Spirituality is a slaying of the mind when the mind's central, all-consuming goal is its own survival.
While the battle of good and evil is played out in religious history and the age-old theme is echoed in popular entertainment, the battle between good and evil is nothing more than a projection of the real battle between your mind and your soul.
Although our minds aren't inherently evil, they are fear-based, and the mind fears it might be extinguished if you get "too spiritual.
" Simply put, your mind, no matter how advanced you become, isn't interested in cooperating.
But that doesn't mean we need to let our minds run the show, and this is where enlightenment comes in.
Enlightenment could be said to be the cessation of "doing," and refusing to be motivated by fear.
It is instead the simplicity of "being," and choosing fearlessness.
The soul's simplicity is at once both tempting and intimidating to the mind.
Frightful because the mind wants to be entertained, and to understand.
The spiritual self or soul is beyond conscious understanding or comprehension, which confounds and disturbs the hungry-to-know mind.
Its constant inquiry and commentary is proof to the mind that it exists and is in fact valuable.
Incessant mind-chatter is the brain's confirmation that it exists-a mirror it can look into and and claim, "I think, therefore I am.
" Distinguishing the mind from the soul To distinguish between what is mind-chatter and what is pure being-ness is really a simple thing.
If the mind is doing its usual: approving and disapproving, liking and disliking, offering opinions and commentary in every minute, it is not your soul which is so engrossed in its own self-initiated drama.
It is the busy little monkey mind.
The soul is an observer.
It stands quietly to the side and though it will offer direction, it does so only when necessary.
Words are superfluous to a being which is all-knowing.
Rather than make judgments it prefers to watch, and refrains from attempting to control or manipulate anything.
It does not try to change the mind's way of thinking or its incessant habits, and it sees no sense in trying to change others.
It finds the mind's trickery amusing, and its need to know compulsive.
The difference between compulsivity of thought and the simplicity of observing is a stark contrast.
While the mind insists on having its way, the soul always obeys its blueprint.
Allow me to explain.
The soul is sent into the world with objectives (or what might be known as "themes," which repeat throughout our life.
These themes can be described as your soul's blueprint, a master plan for your present human incarnation.
For example, if a theme of yours is patience, life circumstances will be arranged so that you continue to encounter situation after situation which tries your ability to show patience (a difficult theme, by the way).
It is up to our free will, our choices, whether or not we learn from these life lessons.
Have you ever wondered or stopped to think what your major life themes might be? Often there are multiple themes.
One of my dominant life themes is the Rescuer theme.
I have encountered needy people all my life, and even chose an education in counseling so I could continue to surround myself with needy people and to rescue.
To my dismay, the lesson of this theme is that nobody needs to be rescued.
The lesson (which I've learned the hard way) is: You can't save anyone, you can only love them (Anais Nin).
For a soul who came into this world with a Rescuer or humanitarian theme, this truth has been shocking and more than just a little discouraging.
Yet life continued to bring me this lesson in a myriad of forms and played it out in the extreme version when my teen daughter who refused my help tragically died at age 15.
This experience was for me the final severe grace and an unwelcome one.
I have seen in my own life that the Universe will keep ratcheting up the volume until we get the message.
The souls' progress As our souls progress, we see that life seldom gives us what we want, and often gives us what we need.
While our mind is busy judging circumstances as good or bad, painful or pleasurable, our souls see the purpose of our suffering and agrees with every test.
It sees the wisdom and purpose behind the catastrophic event or closed door.
Yet it always confirms, "All is as it should be," and sends us a feeling of well-being.
It doesn't need to argue or complain about circumstances.
It simply accepts them in totality.
It acknowledges our circumstances as the next obstacle in our life's blueprint.
It may seem difficult to distinguish when we are functioning in spirit mode vs.
being taken for a ride by the vehicle of the mind.
There is a simple litmus test to distinguish mind from spirit, and we should inquire regularly which is running us.
When operating from the mind's perspective we will have an opinion.
When we are operating in spirit mode we have no agenda.
In spirit-mode we cease to strive and are free from the burden of having to have an opinion.
In those rare moments when we are free from wanting or opinion, our minds clear of chatter and judgement, we can know with some certainty we are "being," which is the opposite of "doing," and this is the hallmark of an enlightened form of existence.
Is anything wrong with accomplishment, with building and being productive? Certainly not, for that is a primary function of the brain.
It ensures our survival and does so through "doing.
" There is nothing inherently un-spiritual about activity.
Yet the compulsiveness of the mind would work us to death or worry us to death if we let it.
Many have been driven like a slave by their minds, and went to an early grave because to it.
In the West we are programmed early with the "doer" orientation in school.
While being an educated and informed person is an asset and quite an important factor in becoming an aware and tolerant human being, knowledge alone is not the key to our unlocking.
Knowledge and truth are different.
All my life I've confused them.
A person can have book smarts and still be a dishonest person.
Knowledge is not the same as enlightenment.
However, our academic system would have you believe they are one and the same.
Truth is the pursuit of right thought and right action, while knowledge is the pursuit of answers.
There may come a day when the accepted answers are not good enough for you.
Then you will be poised to see the truth.
We must come to the end of our understanding to understand anything.
And while that may seem like spiritual silliness or a platitude, as long as we think we know how things should be done (our opinionated self is convinced of its rightness), we are blocking new ideas and unknowingly resisting the more innovative and imaginative self which I describe as the soul, what psychology refers to as the Super-ego.
This Higher Self has information which our limited conscious intelligence doesn't have access to, spiritual information which the mind automatically doubts and demands evidence of.
The scientific method of reliability and validity was born out of the mind's need to know.
The mind always wants to be shown proof, believing that all results should be reproducible and accurately test the hypothesis.
While the scientific method is a valuable means of measuring physical reality in most circumstances, when it comes to the nature of the soul, that which is eternal and invisible to the naked eye, reality cannot be verified via the scientific method.
The soul does not pass the test of scientific inquiry because the spiritual realm, which science has little knowledge of (and I am referring specifically to the science of Quantam Physics or Mechanics) is a young science, in its infantile stages of discovery.
It cannot produce for humanity the answers which science seeks regarding the unseen world, because it is in the process of early discovery.
Atheists claim there is no soul and no after world because there is no proof of its existence.
This is true, there is no proof...
yet.
Science has only recently discovered how physical matter is created via thought wave, light, and vibration.
How then could science explain the world of spirit, the unseen world, if it cannot yet explain the world which is seen? It is only arrogance and short-sightedness which says we know everything already, everything which will be known is known.
Even in the short span of my lifetime I couldn't have imagined or predicted the technological boom and advances, even scientific discoveries, and I would have said to a time traveler from the future, "That's impossible!" Remember, the mind is always convinced of its rightness.
This tendency of the mind is a trap.
It is the quality of an open mind, of teachableness, the not-knowing mind which Super-Conscious finds most intriguing and a welcome place to land.
To introduce anything new to our narcissistic minds we have to be reduced to a state of childlike inquiry, what I would call not-knowingness.
Not-knowingness The mind thinks it knows, which leaves no room for unique and unconventional approaches, innovation, creativity and the like.
Doing it "the way it's always been done" stamps out the creative impulse, like a donkey who rushes to stomp out a fire.
The seat of invention is the Higher Self or Super Consciousness, while the seat of convention is the brain.
The brain is most comfortable with sameness and fitting in with the group and conformity.
It feels safe yet mildly unchallenged when conforming.
It gets bored and weary of "staying in line," yet stays in line because it fears striking out on its own.
Those with a strong drive for security will not allow their conventionality to be ruffled or disturbed.
I stated earlier that spiritual awakening is a process of learning to welcome the uncomfortable.
It is distinctly uncomfortable to not know.
It is uncomfortable to be the student and not the teacher.
It is uncomfortable to strike out in an unknown direction, particularly one in which the end-result is not immediately apparent.
This is risky business.
Our minds warn us to be on guard, to resists going too far out on a limb.
These safety messages are mostly counter-productive to our spiritual growth, and to the growth of the personality.
Stagnation is the result of thinking the same thoughts and showing a disinterest in anything which smells remotely of risk.
There is only one option if we wish to grow spiritually, and it really isn't a choice at all, because life has a way of pushing on us what we came here to learn.
We must grow.
And even when we fight it we will eventually see that growth is inevitable.
The only choice we have is how fast or how slow to grow.
For those of you earnestly seeking to rid yourselves of outdated habits and negative thought patterns, one way is to take a step forward towards that which seems most uncomfortable; running forward into risk rather than away from it.
As Buddhist nun and author Pema Chodrin advised, "Lean into the sharp edges.
" Without leaning towards enlightenment the old patterns remain ensconced, and the scene will never brighten-the mind content to rest in its own comforting darkness.
I can't think of anything less conducive to growth than conforming and sameness.
Leaning into the sharp edges The question we are then faced with is: How do I learn to lean into the sharp edges? What steps are necessary to take? This is an ironic question considering that what is necessary for your unfolding enlightenment is for you NOT to take any steps.
"But I can't lay around like a slug all day," your mind might argue.
Point taken.
A life of utter inactivity would be counterproductive to your survival and happiness.
The soul desires expansion and evolution, so stagnation is not spiritual.
To live on a mountain top like a yogi might sound enticing, but we would stagnate pretty fast living the life of a recluse.
For most of us, inactivity is not the challenge.
Most of our minds demand of us activity, interaction and stimulation.
I am speaking to those of us who have been programmed to think of achievement and accomplishment as valuable and important, and who have difficulty keeping our minds still and at rest.
It is for those of us with active minds, who enjoy keeping busy, that I am speaking to.
For us, the thought of standing still too long creates a sort of ill-at-ease feeling.
Yet there is nothing at all wrong with rest, peace and inactivity (so long as it doesn't impede on our plans, says the mind).
This type of production-oriented thinking is common to Individualistic societies such as the U.
S.
and can result in feelings of inferiority and "not good enough," even in feelings of shame when we aren't busily proving our worth.
Women are especially notorious for being the most overloaded member of the household, feeling as if everyone else should come first in their role as mother or caretaker.
Besides a feeling of having to earn our keep, we feel as if we need to prove our happiness to others, our wealth, even our attractiveness.
This is a symptom of deep-ceded inferiority feelings which are the antithesis of peace and unconditional positive regard towards the self.
Other feelings such as competitiveness and comparison well up when we haven't taken the time to simply "be.
" If you feel as if you are trying too hard to be accepted, liked and respected, than you probably are.
You may need to take time to step away from the mad rush long enough to realize that if you died today the world would go on perfectly well without you.
The world wouldn't stop turning, and even the ones who love you the most would eventually move on.
It is the mind which believes you are irreplaceable, or so important that you mustn't take time to stop and "smell the roses.
" A Dead Radio Psychic Sylvia Brown accurately described life when she said it's like being dropped in a war zone with nothing but a dead radio.
Our connection with the afterlife our soul once had is severed, and we find ourselves lost and alone on a battlefield.
Sylvia also explained that because of the blissful mindset we have while in spirit form on the Other Side, we often take on more than we bargained for, kind of like a child who puts too much food on her plate (my mother used to tell me my eyes were consistently bigger than my stomach).
The child doesn't mean to, it's just that the food looks so enticing, and they're planning on gobbling it up...
the reality, however, is often a very full plate and a tummy ache.
We agree to more "adventure" and at times more sorrow than other souls who have wisely learned to "pace themselves.
" I'm making a mental note now to take only what I can handle the next time I line up at the buffet! Because earth is such a difficult soul assignment, we treat universal laws if they were a "Genie in the bottle.
" We want our spiritual lives to have a magic and instantaneous effect, like Aladdin's lamp.
If we rub the lamp a certain number of times then the genie will pop out and grant us our wishes.
However, the universe is just a little more complicated than that.
This is Disney entertainment, and while appealing, it does'nt take into account that the universe is not primarily interested in making you happy.
But gee, you might be thinking, doesn't God want us to live happy lives? Of Course so.
However, a happy life is not the reason you took a body and came to earth.
While the Dali Llama has said ever so simplistically that the purpose of life is happiness, I'm pretty sure he did not mean we are kings and queens who were created to be served.
No indeed.
It is the other way around.
We are here to serve others (I think Christ said this repeatedly).
And this earth is the landscape upon which we serve.
Then what did the Dali Llama mean? When seen through the eyes of Buddhist philosophy, happiness translates into the Buddhist word, "Nirvana.
" But "Nirvana" does not mean happiness.
The word actually translates to: "Cessation.
" The end of.
The end of striving.
The end of anxiety.
The end of comparison and competition.
The end of...
me.
The end of my inflated ego, and thankfully, the beginning of wisdom.
Buddha said at the end of the seeker's path would be...
the end.
But we would rather that it meant never-ending bliss and happiness.
While it's a nice fairy tale, the Buddha had a penchant for telling the truth.
If we can manage to control the ego we will enter enlightenment, which amounts to the end of compulsive wanting.
Like a spoiled child, the ego never stops yearning to be somewhere else, jealous for more, whining for bigger and better, luxurious and more deluxe.
Have you ever noticed that the ego is never satisfied for long? It's never satisfied with what it has, who it's with, or where it is because it believes, grandiosely that it is due better and more.
Freud called the ego, "His majesty the baby.
" So let's examine the human being you've become and ask a searching question: am I in fact the person my ego has made me out to be? Who you really are First, let's look at the numbers, numbers don't lie.
There are over 7 billion humans on the planet.
That's about 3,000,000 births per day, and 80,000,000 (80 million) births a year.
Still feeling larger than life? To give you an idea of the enormity of that ratio (1 in 7 billion), if you were to spend only 1 minute talking to every person it would take you around 14,000 years to meet everyone.
That's 140 centuries.
Although we can't wrap our minds around the fact that we are only one entity of 7 billion entities, the larger reality is that compared to all the souls in eternity, we are like a single grain of sand as among all the beaches of the world (which is, by the way, 1 in 7 Quintilian, 5 quadrillion, or 1 in 700500000000000000000).
I imagine by now you've starting to put your existence into proper perspective.
And while you are as unique and individual as a snowflake, you are also expendable.
I know, not news you really wanted to hear.
This vulnerability, this amoeba-like quality of our lives absolutely terrifies the ego.
In defense, it puffs itself up as big as humanly possible, much the same way animals do who are trying to attract a mate or fend off a predator.
While the ego may even fool us into believing its invincibility and over-inflated proportions, this behavior is telling.
In psychological terms there is a defense mechanism known as, "reaction formation.
" It is when we take the opposite belief because the truth causes too much anxiety.
The ego appears larger than life so it doesn't have to feel it's own frailty and face it's own mortality.
So much of my life has been spent trying to convince others of my importance, in an effort to shore-up my feeble and fragile ego.
So much effort has been expended on pretending.
We pretend so much of the time that we may not actually know how we really feel.
The idealic spiritual life I began this article explaining the difference between the egoic mind and the spiritual self.
As I hope you can see the two are about as different as night and day.
While the ideal spiritual life would be uninterrupted joy and bliss, most of our spiritual experiences are far more common and mundane, the exact word might be "simple.
" The mind complicates, while the Higher Self keeps it real and simple.
If you are an excitable personality, spirituality may be somewhat of a letdown.
Garden-variety abiding in spirit is a straightforward process of being present in the moment.
How simple is that? Once in awhile you will experience a show of fireworks, but more commonly you'll experience a peaceful abiding, the absence of striving.
You will notice you're becoming more comfortable with silence.
You will feel more, and think less.
You will sense more intuitively and find a pliability and flexibility in your decision-making.
You will worry less and appreciate the small things more.
The more you practice turning your mind off and tuning into your environment or other aesthetically pleasing endeavors, the less you will be interested in the dramatic narrative of the mind.
Spiritual awakening is more about letting go of what we thought we had to be, and opening to a redefinition of ourselves-a self which is simpler, more present, and attuned.
The only thing complicated about enlightenment is getting our "bloated nothingness" (Rev.
Matt Garrigan) out of the way.
And that could take some practice, of that I am sure.