Thoughts on Depression (2)
1 Kings 19: 3-4 "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."
Here we have a classic example of depression. The great man of God that had called down a drought on the land of Israel for over 3 years, experienced miracles of provision and fire from heaven plus slaying the prophets of Baal, couldn't even face one woman or cook himself a meal, all he wanted to do was die. It seems strange that such a mighty man of God would experience such a thing, why didn't he just rebuke the depression like he would have the false prophets? Why did God allow it in the first place? His disciple Elisha did twice as many miracles as Elijah and even raised the dead, yet he died of a sickness later in life as well.
2 Kings 13: 14 "Now Elisha was suffering from the illness from which he died.
There are some things that we can't explain. Catherine Kuhlman the amazing healing evangelist died of cancer and both Isaac Newton and Spurgeon, who were wonderful positive Christians, suffered from depression. In the olden days they didn't call it that but referred to it as ‘melancholy'. Today it's ‘bipolar' instead of ‘manic depression' and the stigma has gone. I was listening to the testimony of a soldier that returned from WW2 in 1945 who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, extremely depressed from all they had experienced. He said that he couldn't tell anyone how he felt, let alone go to a physiatrist because the stigma would prevent him from getting a decent job, how sad.
My father suffered from depression and would never admit it, and medicated himself with large doses of alcohol on a regular basis. As I grew older I found out that he had ‘manic depression' which explained his extreme mood swings. His mother suffered from it as well and was admitted for treatment during a particularly bad period in her life. I'm sure if she had the medication and understanding that we have today she would have lived a long and happy life. The only photos I have of her look like she has been baptised in lemon juice. I'm convinced as well that my father would still be alive today if he had taken the medication we have now. In those days it was electric shock treatment or drugs that left you stupefied.
All through my life I can see periods where I have also suffered from depression. The first time that it became obvious was when I left home and went toAucklandon my own and worked at the Farmers Trading Company in their Advertising department. At the time I was boarding with a lady that was on a dialysis machine for her kidneys and the atmosphere in the house was really depressing. I got very sick with the flu and remember everything becoming dark and gloomy. Some of my relatives inAucklandsaid afterwards that they were really concerned about me as I was so morose. Not only does depression like that affect your moods but your stamina as well and you don't feel motivated.
I've noticed over the years how that what goes on inside you seems to influence what happens around you as well. From that time on I bounced in and out of depression and while I was flatting with a guy inSandringhama string of freaky events got me worried to prove a point.
The first thing that happened was a fire in our chimney after I decided to burn some rubbish. The Fire Brigade came to the rescue and gave me a good telling off. Within a week I was cooking sausages after work and forgot about them and went across the road to my mates flat and saw the Fire Brigade arrive again. If you thought I got a good telling off the first time then you should have been there for the second. Still smelling of smoke I was in the staff cafeteria for lunch when the lady in front of me dropped dead and lay there staring up at me. Man that freaked me out. Still mortified I then received a letter from the NZ govt that I had been chosen through the ballot system for the Army. That really caused the bottom to fall out of my world, as I was planning to leave for a trip overseas and now I couldn't go for the next 3 years. Fate had it that after I managed to get out of that I travelled the following year toRhodesiawhere I fought in a real war instead of a ‘play, play' one.
Since then I have noticed (as a whole) how depression doesn't seem to attract miracles or good things in one's life. In fact it kills creativity and any motivation to do well.
Last week I was listening to a high powered minister who had a complete mental breakdown (If you can call it that). The strange thing was that he was really enjoying ministry and doing the Lord's work with vigour and enthusiasm, when suddenly symptoms came on him from nowhere that eventually left him incapable of ministry and unable to pray or even read the bible. He eventually came out of it and is even better now than before but not without medication. Basically what the doctors told him was that the serotonin levels in his brain had run out and he was incapable of restarting them without help. He used to minister to couples on marriage but now he majors in depression for there is such a need now days.
On listening to his story I thought I would share a little of my experience with depression. After that first period when I left school it occurred again and again until I was saved inJohannesburgin 1971. My experimenting with drugs didn't help much, in fact once when I took LSD I ended up having a bad trip when all this gloom and doom kicked in. It was depression that led me to Christ and the experience of His life within. You would think that being a Christian would solve the problem but not so, soon after that I got worse than before, for my gloomy disposition caused me to look within and find no good thing. With lots of prayer and a constant battle to remain positive I lived a semi-victorious Christian life and went into the ministry with success where ever we went.
As the years went by it would return again and again and I would rebuke it with little effect. I have always been a person who believes in the provision of healing through the cross and would address this condition accordingly. The trouble is when you are suffering from depression you don't feel like God cares and the word means nothing to you, so it makes it hard to come against something that you have no energy to combat and in that state you just don't care anyway. "Whatever."
Years later after another bad attack a Christian pharmacist friend explained to me what was happening and prescribed a mild anti-depressant and it seemed to instantly work. I felt like a new person immediately and my stamina returned, along with creativity.
There have been times since that I have stopped taking these pills and thought that I'd been healed but slowly but surely the gloominess returned and I struggled to keep on top once more. I know I could get along without taking anything but my life would be mainly focused on overcoming the negative thoughts and despair within all the time. When I take something for it I am free to focus on others and be creative once again. Why hasn't God healed me, why hasn't my faith come through for me in this situation? I believe Paul has the answer in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
All I can say is that this condition keeps me humble like Paul's mystery one did, and makes me put my trust in God more and more. I do not think that medication is now the only way for every sickness we have, but I'm sure that if I didn't take this one I would not be in the ministry today. I would find the pressures too great and just prefer to be a Christian without too many responsibilities.
When it comes to colds and flu I use the word against the symptoms and they flee time and time again without taking medication so I still believe that healing is for today. I do think that another factor is to watch our eating habits and keep fit otherwise we will get sick when we don't need to be. Over work can also cause us to get run down and no amount of prayer and the word will make it go away.
I'm sure a lot of Christians are suffering from depression and won't admit it for different reasons. They will wear glasses to help their eyes, and take medication for other symptoms but not for depression thinking that Christians should not have this condition. Depression is a sickness too.
I realise that not everyone who will read this article is a Christian but if you are, being filled with the Holy Spirit is a real bonus. Look at my Sermons on this subject.
Here we have a classic example of depression. The great man of God that had called down a drought on the land of Israel for over 3 years, experienced miracles of provision and fire from heaven plus slaying the prophets of Baal, couldn't even face one woman or cook himself a meal, all he wanted to do was die. It seems strange that such a mighty man of God would experience such a thing, why didn't he just rebuke the depression like he would have the false prophets? Why did God allow it in the first place? His disciple Elisha did twice as many miracles as Elijah and even raised the dead, yet he died of a sickness later in life as well.
2 Kings 13: 14 "Now Elisha was suffering from the illness from which he died.
There are some things that we can't explain. Catherine Kuhlman the amazing healing evangelist died of cancer and both Isaac Newton and Spurgeon, who were wonderful positive Christians, suffered from depression. In the olden days they didn't call it that but referred to it as ‘melancholy'. Today it's ‘bipolar' instead of ‘manic depression' and the stigma has gone. I was listening to the testimony of a soldier that returned from WW2 in 1945 who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, extremely depressed from all they had experienced. He said that he couldn't tell anyone how he felt, let alone go to a physiatrist because the stigma would prevent him from getting a decent job, how sad.
My father suffered from depression and would never admit it, and medicated himself with large doses of alcohol on a regular basis. As I grew older I found out that he had ‘manic depression' which explained his extreme mood swings. His mother suffered from it as well and was admitted for treatment during a particularly bad period in her life. I'm sure if she had the medication and understanding that we have today she would have lived a long and happy life. The only photos I have of her look like she has been baptised in lemon juice. I'm convinced as well that my father would still be alive today if he had taken the medication we have now. In those days it was electric shock treatment or drugs that left you stupefied.
All through my life I can see periods where I have also suffered from depression. The first time that it became obvious was when I left home and went toAucklandon my own and worked at the Farmers Trading Company in their Advertising department. At the time I was boarding with a lady that was on a dialysis machine for her kidneys and the atmosphere in the house was really depressing. I got very sick with the flu and remember everything becoming dark and gloomy. Some of my relatives inAucklandsaid afterwards that they were really concerned about me as I was so morose. Not only does depression like that affect your moods but your stamina as well and you don't feel motivated.
I've noticed over the years how that what goes on inside you seems to influence what happens around you as well. From that time on I bounced in and out of depression and while I was flatting with a guy inSandringhama string of freaky events got me worried to prove a point.
The first thing that happened was a fire in our chimney after I decided to burn some rubbish. The Fire Brigade came to the rescue and gave me a good telling off. Within a week I was cooking sausages after work and forgot about them and went across the road to my mates flat and saw the Fire Brigade arrive again. If you thought I got a good telling off the first time then you should have been there for the second. Still smelling of smoke I was in the staff cafeteria for lunch when the lady in front of me dropped dead and lay there staring up at me. Man that freaked me out. Still mortified I then received a letter from the NZ govt that I had been chosen through the ballot system for the Army. That really caused the bottom to fall out of my world, as I was planning to leave for a trip overseas and now I couldn't go for the next 3 years. Fate had it that after I managed to get out of that I travelled the following year toRhodesiawhere I fought in a real war instead of a ‘play, play' one.
Since then I have noticed (as a whole) how depression doesn't seem to attract miracles or good things in one's life. In fact it kills creativity and any motivation to do well.
Last week I was listening to a high powered minister who had a complete mental breakdown (If you can call it that). The strange thing was that he was really enjoying ministry and doing the Lord's work with vigour and enthusiasm, when suddenly symptoms came on him from nowhere that eventually left him incapable of ministry and unable to pray or even read the bible. He eventually came out of it and is even better now than before but not without medication. Basically what the doctors told him was that the serotonin levels in his brain had run out and he was incapable of restarting them without help. He used to minister to couples on marriage but now he majors in depression for there is such a need now days.
On listening to his story I thought I would share a little of my experience with depression. After that first period when I left school it occurred again and again until I was saved inJohannesburgin 1971. My experimenting with drugs didn't help much, in fact once when I took LSD I ended up having a bad trip when all this gloom and doom kicked in. It was depression that led me to Christ and the experience of His life within. You would think that being a Christian would solve the problem but not so, soon after that I got worse than before, for my gloomy disposition caused me to look within and find no good thing. With lots of prayer and a constant battle to remain positive I lived a semi-victorious Christian life and went into the ministry with success where ever we went.
As the years went by it would return again and again and I would rebuke it with little effect. I have always been a person who believes in the provision of healing through the cross and would address this condition accordingly. The trouble is when you are suffering from depression you don't feel like God cares and the word means nothing to you, so it makes it hard to come against something that you have no energy to combat and in that state you just don't care anyway. "Whatever."
Years later after another bad attack a Christian pharmacist friend explained to me what was happening and prescribed a mild anti-depressant and it seemed to instantly work. I felt like a new person immediately and my stamina returned, along with creativity.
There have been times since that I have stopped taking these pills and thought that I'd been healed but slowly but surely the gloominess returned and I struggled to keep on top once more. I know I could get along without taking anything but my life would be mainly focused on overcoming the negative thoughts and despair within all the time. When I take something for it I am free to focus on others and be creative once again. Why hasn't God healed me, why hasn't my faith come through for me in this situation? I believe Paul has the answer in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
All I can say is that this condition keeps me humble like Paul's mystery one did, and makes me put my trust in God more and more. I do not think that medication is now the only way for every sickness we have, but I'm sure that if I didn't take this one I would not be in the ministry today. I would find the pressures too great and just prefer to be a Christian without too many responsibilities.
When it comes to colds and flu I use the word against the symptoms and they flee time and time again without taking medication so I still believe that healing is for today. I do think that another factor is to watch our eating habits and keep fit otherwise we will get sick when we don't need to be. Over work can also cause us to get run down and no amount of prayer and the word will make it go away.
I'm sure a lot of Christians are suffering from depression and won't admit it for different reasons. They will wear glasses to help their eyes, and take medication for other symptoms but not for depression thinking that Christians should not have this condition. Depression is a sickness too.
I realise that not everyone who will read this article is a Christian but if you are, being filled with the Holy Spirit is a real bonus. Look at my Sermons on this subject.
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