Worry can rob us of finding joy in the present moment and keep us from reaching our full potential.
How can you stop worrying? What can you do when you find yourself ruminating about a problem and moving quickly into a downward spiral? Did you ever notice how when something good happens to you, you feel great for a little while and then the feeling fades? Yet when something bad happens the bad feeling can stay with you all day long as you go over and over the event in your mind.
There is a saying: bad is stronger than good! So what can you do? Here is one suggestion: When you experience a positive emotion such as joy savor the feeling; dwell on the event that brought you so much joy.
Let the feeling linger and stay with it for a while.
When you find yourself ruminating and stirring up angry and depressed feelings distract yourself.
The worse thing you can do is to keep yourself wrapped up in self-rumination.
This will only lead to a downward spiral that goes out of control until you are drained, angry and feeling hopeless about your life goals and dreams.
"I can't believe she said that?" "I always mess up.
" "I deserved that promotion.
" "How come nothing ever works out for me?" "I am a terrible father.
" "I will never publish a book.
" "I will never date again.
" One negative event can open the barn door to an avalanche of negative self -talk!!! Yes distract yourself.
At first you may reject that notion thinking instead that you have to get to the bottom of this problem.
According to positive psychologists you are not going to gain any new insight into the problem through rumination.
It can actually make you feel worse.
You may also want to consider that you do not have a clear mind when you are in this state and your thinking will be distorted leaning heavily toward the negative.
Find something that will distract you from your rumination.
How about a funny movie? Reading a good book? Physical exercise will help too.
Get those endorphins going! You may also want to consider scheduling worry time.
Pick a time at the end of the day when you will sit and worry about your problem.
This can free you up at the moment.
7 p.
m.
may be a good worry time, find a time that works for you.
What's interesting to note is that when 7 p.
m.
rolls around you probably won't even feel like worrying about the problem.
Bottom line: worrying will take you away from reaching your full potential.
It saps your strength and limits your ability to even envision what you are capable of achieving.
Free your-self from rumination the world is yours for the taking! References: Lyubomirsky, Sonia; The How of Happiness Fredrickson, Barbara; Positivity