I am not usually super-duper open about money struggles that I experience, but I recently had a couple of epiphanies about money.
I had always thought that I had a good handle on money, but I never understood how people were supposed to remain unattached to less income than they needed.
You need to pay the bills, right? Otherwise, you're screwed.
And how are you supposed to feel secure when you have no money? I thought money was security.
My first epiphany was thanks to Byron Katie.
She engages a person in a line of questioning that can be VERY IRRITATING if you're attached to whatever issue you're working on.
So when a person says "I need more money" she asks, is it true? Is it really true?...
and I always thought, this is simple math, of COURSE a person running at a deficit needs more money!! But I finally got it.
Most of the time when people make the statement "I need more money," they are projecting themselves into a future situation where bills are due and they have no money to pay them.
This is total fiction; just because you can imagine something happening a certain way doesn't make it so! So when you do that, you're lying to yourself because you are not accounting for changes to your situation or any outside intervention.
Let's take the scarier example: You DO have a bill that's due and no means to pay for it.
For this to feel better, you have to pull yourself into the present moment and ask yourself, "Right this very moment, do I need more money?" If you break things down to the present moment, you suddenly realize that at the present moment, you're FINE without more money.
Even after a bill is late.
Most people worry BEFORE the bill is due, and then worry AFTER the bill is late.
With linear, mathematical thinking, there is really only one moment in time that is an actual event: whether or not you pay the bill.
You rationalize that if you pay the bill, then you'll feel relief that you had "enough" money.
However, this is the attachment that is so dangerous-and used to be my big issue.
If you DON'T pay the bill, you'll feel terrible and think all kinds of horrible things about yourself.
So because of a simply act of not paying something "on time," I'm either relieved and secure or anxiety-ridden and a horrible person.
Because I did or didn't pay a bill on time?? I don't think so.
If you stick to your present moment, you'll realize that you don't need ANYTHING to be completely fine.
Late bills, credit scores and whatever else freaks you out are as arbitrary and meaningless as the grade you got in geometry as a high school freshman.
These external issues are irrelevant to your happiness...
and the key to true happiness is awareness in the present, NOT projecting into the future.
Sure, you might not have as much money as you want IN THE MOMENT, but as Byron Katie says, "At this moment, no one has more money than they have.
" So, take a deep breath, consider your present moment and start working your way from there.